monologue

Saturday, August 15th 2009



late in the summer night, glossy shine is drinking a glass of wine and she's watching the hanging moon over the sleepy city.
'There was a time when i had so many things to say. So many and so important things. About life, about love, about people, about nature, about everything. Now, i don't have anything to say. I am squeezing my brain, i am looking around but not a single word comes in my mind. It's all silence. There's everything but no words - feelings, images, happenings. There is a very strange feeling... as if a part of my brain has stopped to work properly. I am still able to feel sensations of cold, warmth, i can feel the wind blowing and the energy which comes out from every person or thing. But i am not able to talk about them. I am doubting of everything as if my perception is cheated all the time. As soon as i have an idea about something suddenly the sense of certainty disappears. There are so many things which i could talk about but when the moment of pronunciation comes I keep silence. I find each word so pointless and insignificant. I am hopelessly trying to hitch on something to talk about... even on that rising bit of moon... even on this glass of wine... even on that crickets' chirp... but the words are vanishing between the images and pronunciations. Tired of all these things i say to myself: come on, go to sleep, tomorrow is another day and it will be perfect. you will see, something good will happen tomorrow and you'll be able to speak again about everything you want....
But the days are passing, even the months and then, the years... the same awful impossibility of speaking persists.